HIstOrYmaKEr

2009-09-23T10:00:00.002+08:00

Arghhhh hate it when I'm physically down:( Really weak man, haix... Spiritually and mentally not in good shape too, work wise been a hectic few days dating back to last week, not much rest time, sooo looking forward to next week when more rest is gonna come, but guess still will be very very stressed up over students' exams:s Tat's my life now man, exams,work,exams,work,exams,work...and then reservist callup and ict-_-" Lolx, sounds pretty much a boring life:/ School hols hurry come so I can go Taiwan and relax myself!!! need a long break sooner than later, gonna break down pretty soon i guess,lolx:x

Thanks!!

2009-09-21T00:56:00.002+08:00

Yay!!!!! Eo is finally over, with loads loads loads God's grace!:D Phew, one whole week of intense stress is finally over, and the greatest is guess what, still leading ppl to Christ, hahaha That feeling and thanksgiving is still greater than any other feelings:D That aside, really wanna thank the whole F3 for ya uncompromising giving and sacrifice, it's the whole team that makes the whole event one that's blessed by God, jiayou in keeping up the passion to serve!:D Okay super tired,going zzzz le, work work work tmr!:)

tough tough tough:/

2009-09-17T11:02:00.002+08:00

Just realised i'm really old le, memorizing script for a skit is super tough job now compared to the 2 years ago:s Ha ha ha can only rely on God's grace, it's a seemingly near impossible task, and work is tough! Students' exams are all coming soon, it's "that" time of the year again, stress, bad-temper, high blood pressure, scoldings and shoutings:x Must try to teach with a calm mind this time round, this shall be my aim for this upcoming frantic period, need loads wisdom and patience... but 1st thing 1st, the script for the skit!!arghhh going back to try memorize again, those who dunno what am i talking about, sincerely invite u to the musical and skit this coming sunday at Tradehub@21, Boon Lay Way, can contact me if u interested in going, will be a meaningful musical, ha ha;)

2009-09-05T19:18:00.000+08:00

Watched parts of "ming zhong zhu ding wo ai ni" yest and it sure triggered loads emotions in me:/ Think I am still very very immature emotional wise:( That aside, family matters has been foremost in my mind recently, after many years of lagging in work, now is finally time to carry the family load...dunno how I can help but just hope everything will turn out fine for us, this can only be put in God's hand le...

2009-08-28T18:07:00.000+08:00

Feeling much better emotionally, think I'm still under my emotion's control instead of controlling it, still need loads effort...but at least mood is up again, though not all aspect experiencing goodness,can only say well,in the midst of experiencing God:1

2009-08-26T21:34:00.000+08:00

Still too emotional, its not good, its killing me, a simple simple incident can trigger such great emotions, i dun like it, i reallie reallie hate this aspect of me, its sooo beyond my control...

Yay good news:)

2009-08-24T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hey better news today, haha:) Had my trip to doc and my health overall improved, his med really works,thank God:) And the doc even said my allergy and my IBS(not inductive bible study:p) can be cured completely!yay a ray of hope finally:) Now the main concern is not heart burning a hole but pocket aka wallet burning a hole,lolx:/ Haha but well, health is still much more precious than $$$ so gotta work harder then,lolx but still thank God for His grace:D

P.S. Trying to build bridge with God and ppl again, pray pray pray:)

updates..

2009-08-23T22:12:00.000+08:00

It's been 9 days since moved house, finally unpack my stuff and settled down,from one floor area to another floor area,lolx-_- but at least more room for me to toss and turn when I sleep on my faithful sleeping bag:) Had a few days of internet-less and scv-less time and have to say I'm sadly more reliant on them,like a part of me is missing:s:s:s All in all, gotta say it's been all God's Grace and blessings that we moved in:) Work wise have been bery busy coz of students' upcoming prelims and tests, but still able to cope. What is starting to worry me is my health, news that I have low blood pressure, weak heartbeats and low oxygen counts to name a few have been quite depressing, but also the symptoms of having all these seems to be appearing in me for quite some time, doesn't bode well indeed:( Well, in all things still believe that God has His purpose, hope health wun affect my life too much:/ Upcoming events and also the cd project is taking a toll on me mentally, the stress of uncertainty and helplessness isn't a great feeling:( Need to go back to the bery basic, my relation with God has been fatuating(pardon spelling) like a share's chart, full of ups and downs:1 Mind is willing but body is weak, so true such a statement by the writer, needs to deal with the latter part...Work hasn't been great too but still gonna say that it's filled with God's blessings:) phew, so many thoughts at one go, just so i can vent out and mkae me feel less frustrated, life still goes on after all...

moving moving

2009-08-14T09:19:00.000+08:00

Moving house today (again), more or less packed up, waiting for mover's company..mixed feeling about moving, though just a short 2 years here it's been quite a place to live in, so to move back to Marsiling (ulu north:s) is a bit sianz, but well, guess that's just part and parcel of life-_- just hope can adapt well to Marsiling again...

R.I.P Sir Bobby Robson

2009-07-31T22:59:00.004+08:00

Words will never be able to describe the footballing great and yet absolutely the most humble and passionate person I ever seen in my lifetime of following football since young. As a newcastle fan, this season had been horrible and saddening but not even the terrible fact of relegation can compare to the death of Sir Bobby, it is like taking away a part of newcastle, its irreplacable:(:(:( You will always be remembered and respected, truly sad sad times for newcastle...

2009-06-06T21:33:00.002+08:00

Rt is reallie tiring, not just the physical aspect but it's the mental and emotional aspect that is draining,lolx After each session just wanna lag at home do nothing... Now school hols but instead like busier than normal school days-_-" tired tired tired is all i can say now...

2009-06-03T22:23:00.001+08:00

I'm sooo sooo sooo tired after RT, wanna just lag on my sleeping bag and sleep through the night...

some random pics

2009-05-30T22:52:00.000+08:00

updates:)

2009-05-29T23:19:00.002+08:00

Yes BARCA ROX!!!:D:D lolx true to expectation, they played their attractive and beautiful game and any neutrals will agree that the better team won on the night, great job:D

Started the actual recording today, though tired out in the end but think all involved would agree that God's grace is sufficient, how we can all come together to use what God has given us to serve Him in this ministry:) Thanks to all of you for making this happen, no matter how tough the future songs will be, do remember that you are not the only ones playing or singing, you are doing this for God's Kingdom, jiayou!:D totally drained now, need to go rest soon, tmr is a brand new day of same old routine again,lolx

An interesting quote:"An Eternal of Questions and Answers"

2009-05-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

Barca n MESSI do your job tonight n make us proud!

life is a roller-coaster:)

2009-05-26T12:39:00.002+08:00

Long long post in a while...recent events haf been quite saddening man,what with students' exams, friends' situations, n NEWCASTLE GOT RELEGATED:(:(:(:(:( Well, life still goes on, my dear Newcastle, I'll always bleed black n white!! Hmmm 2nd cd is on its way finally after a few months of delaying, a new feel infused with same style, can only hope God takes charge in all:) Loads, loads things to give thanks for too, Wg n Yh's cute cute cute baby girl!:) , the roller-coaster ride of my work(which reallie is full of God's grace) , the start of the production of the 2nd cd , my relation with my parents etc etc...too too many things to give thanks to God for, ultimately gotta say if there's no God, there's no me at all::) On a less positive note, RT starts le,lolx-_-" but am going through it as a form of "forced" exercise, ha ha:s Look forward to June with much anticipation, will update soon:D

"Take me away: A secret place.
A sweet escape: Take me away.
Take me away to better days.
Take me away: A higher place."

blind sheep

2009-02-11T14:39:00.000+08:00

Juz a quick update: undergoing eye treatment at AH due to viral infection,good news is its not eye threatening,bad news,well,its bery serious so gotta go for quite a few times b4 its recovered...worst thing abt it is the treatment process, tink cotton buds, curved metal pincer,lots of eyedrops, tissues, n end up with lots of membrane, blood, swollen n numb n painful eyes...EEEEEEEE!!!ITs reallie super disgusting, n ya can actually c the whole process,wow...-_-" seeing the pincer digging n pincing out the stuff etc,at tt moment i surely can feel i may juz go blind with a slight movement!
N the aftermath condition is well,unbearable at best...:( Hmmm still gotta go thru this for dunno how many times,hope my eyes can last thru n wun juz pop put suddenly,lolx:s Its gonna be a long long 2 weeks from now on....

GOD IS FOR US

2008-11-18T12:29:00.002+08:00

GOD IS FOR US

(CHORUS)
" God is on our side
An ever present fortress
In His shadow we can hide
Who can be against us
Any charge must be a lie
For He who gave His Son to die
Is forever on our side "

REPEAT CHORUS

" What can now be spoken
In response to what He's done
For we who once were broken
Have been rescued by His Son
The blood of Christ His off'ring
No greater love is known
The Father held back nothing
To reclaim us for His own "

REPEAT CHORUS

" No condemnation
For God's alive in Christ
The Spirit's declaration
Retreat unto our lives
Retreat unto our lives "

REPEAT CHORUS

" For He who gave His Son to die
Is forever on our side
God is on our side
He is on our side "

By Don Moen - God for Us

2008-11-17T11:36:00.001+08:00

" Dear God, please help me to focus on the things that matters to you, that pleases you, that will glorify you. And please cleanse my sins and any evil-doings and create in me a clean heart that can be used by you for your works, all these to glorify your name, amen."

emo!-_-

2008-11-14T13:04:00.003+08:00

Been feeling bery emo recently, guess its a combination of factors but the last triggering factor was like......:( hmmm its like my own stupid fault for caring so much but then well, i should haf known tt it is futile...I reallie reallie commit a lot a lot into it, time, effort, monetary etcetc so mebe tts where I expected tings i shouldn't:/ I dun regret all these though, but......well, need some time for my this stupid "emo self" to surface up again and rule me over a period of time b4 tings can get normal again..so helpless, so angry, so disappointed, yet its me mainly who deserved it, lolx, so ironic-_-" dun feel like doing anything now, just lag lag lag..

Disclaimer: It's nothing regarding my relation so dun need to guess ppl:D

updates

2008-10-30T12:10:00.003+08:00

Been hafing a half slack half busy life this past week,lolx-_- hmmm time really flies, it's nearly Nov le and the next recording HASN'T started yet:s really start to doubt if can get it done by Christmas but well, will try and then see how ba:) Haf been think ing quite a lot recently, with things that have been happening and stuff etc, sometimes do feel quite alone... but what I cannot give, isn't it better to learn to let go? My life is just somehow different from others so I can't give any promise or security...:/ Well, gotta leave all the emotions aside and try to focus on the covenant between me and God, it's bery difficult though but falling each time i guess is God's way of telling me He's always there and to refine me to be more complete for Him, just hope can persevere on...

"The salvation of God to mankind is not one of just being a 'ticket to heaven', but an
amazing grace from God to be able to know Him and live out a life for Him."

long long updates,lolx:)

2008-10-21T10:18:00.002+08:00

Been quite some time since updates,gee:) Quite biz wif the project and students exams and RT this few weeks:s Exams finally over!!(yes I'm happier than my students,lolx) Rt coming to an end soon and the first batch of cds are coming out soon!:D Guess this part of my life is ending but well,another phrase is starting and I'm bery excited abt the production and how it can reach out to others:D

Firstly wanna thanks all who helped out to make this project a reality and not just a dream,too many to list down but ya noe who ya are*wink*:) Wanna esp thanks LOVE INC n Weiyang,wifout the support and encouragement thruout tis period, the project cant be accomplished:) Finally thanks to our GOD!:D Though there are big bumps and obstacles etc in the process, but God has shown once again tt its purely thru His Grace and Power tt things can be done, I really wanna give thanks to Him, sinners or saints alike, He uses them to accomplish His plans:D

Lots of "感想" for the project,really experienced God working in and wif us. "All things work for the good of those who love Him". We do haf our weaknesses and limited abilities in areas we need but somehow God always provides, no matter its thru wat ways or how, in ways we never see or imagine can happen:)

Hmmm the next project is coming up and it'll be a tedious process again but I'm bery excited coz we'll be involving more ppl who are willing to serve in tis way wif us to reach out to others, though there'll be conflicts and misunderstandings etc, let us not lose sight of wat is Good, tt is, God's Grace and Goodness tt is always wif us and His spirit is always among us as we proceed on in our lives to serve Him, jiayou ppl!:D

more lyrics...

2008-09-28T00:11:00.000+08:00

"在基督里享受主爱自由奔放乐开怀

世上没有任何事物能隔绝神的爱

在基督里享受主爱自由奔放乐开怀

我要赞美我要歌颂造物主的奇妙爱"

some sharings:D

2008-09-20T00:39:00.002+08:00

"He was despised and rejected -
A man of sorrows, acquainted
with deepest grief...It was our
weaknesses He carried;

It was our sorrows that weighed
Him down...

He was crushed for our sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed...

He was pierced for our rebellion,
crushed for our sins...

He is Jesus Christ our God."

Today went to St Lukes hospital for a short singing session n sharing by preacher Chua, was reallie bery hapi to c the elderly residents there singing along n enjoying the songs, and more importantly, being able to share the joy of hafing God with them:) This event further affirms me that whateva upcoming plans in store for the lost elderly are worth it and shouldn't be delayed anymore...will start to get things done and hopefully start our next project soon so ample time is given this time:)

no subject..

2008-09-18T10:05:00.002+08:00

Hmmm so many things happening at such a pace that I realised its been some time since I reallie quieten down before God:s Many news are positive and I thank God for that, but also knew about many sad and unpleasant stuff that onli affirms me that life in this world is just temporary, here today, and gone tmr... it sounds quite dejecting but it set me thinking what many other things I can do in my corner of this world to try to bring blessings to other ppl:) Its tough, n sometimes even saddening n hurting for me but I muz persevere on!Muzn't focus on myself, gotta look at the bigger pic n jiayou ba...aniway to all my students,exams coming, try to jiayou even though its super sianx or boring to study n revise:)

Through It All

2008-09-16T23:09:00.000+08:00

"You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

Everlasting Father, I love You
Ever living Savior, I love You

I'll sing to You Lord
A hymn of Love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through it all"

random...

2008-09-14T02:01:00.005+08:00

Hmmm was actually on my comfy sleeping bag le but somehow couldn't get to sleep...tis few weeks had been hectic n tiring,yet i noe its for someting tt may turn out good so muz persevere on!!!jiayou to myself!lolx:/ Thx all those who haf been supporting, din reallie get the chance to thx ya all personally coz still trying to rush the more n more tight deadline but ya help n support will always be remembered as a blessing!:D Still love the lyrics of my previous post the most, at a time when feelings cant be fully comprehended by mere words,lolx...:s erm quite a random post, juz wanna vent tings out so hopefully can get to sleep n PIA for tmr again,nitezzzzzz

"Is there, is there a place
in your arms of love, strong enough?
Would you carry us, carry us through?"

some lyrics tt reflects my tots...

2008-09-11T13:18:00.002+08:00

"One thing I've pondered,
is how the mighty fall,
I've sang the songs of heaven,
just to lose it all,
see me falling down,
see me falling down."

"I stare in the eyes of this flesh and bone
I'm a tourist here so tomorrow I go home
I try to make sense of the things I've seen
Between the poverty and the five star dream."

sad....:(

2008-09-05T05:20:00.003+08:00

I'm quite discouraged n saddened by some news tis past few daes, still find it hard to juz trust n leave tings to God but will keep trying...recent posts haf been bery emo n pessimistic, berybery stressed up abt e project, tuitions, my upcoming studies, army(reservist) stuff etc:( Been thru diff n unpleasant exps n reallie dun wanna relive them again:x Sori ppl noe i'm e "yi zi ren" but i'm juz not a leader by nature so its hard for me to lead e team effectively for e project n thus it had been not good:( E urge to escape into my own shell is there again but i cant, i reallie cant juz run away from all tis, Lord pls dun let me do so:'(...Well, there r of coz stuff which brightens up my life, or should i say, i'm juz easily contented in tis way(in relation i'm sooo diff, it suxs:x)...wat i wanna isn't reallie wat i wanna, wat i need isn't wat i reallie need, wat i haf isn't wat i reallie haf...will i one day say tt who i'm isn't reallie who i'm??wOW....pray hard its not..

P.S. Life still goes on each day, each hour, each min, each sec wifout fail, wifout stop..

updates...

2008-09-03T02:35:00.003+08:00

writing tis wif eyes barely open...been sooo tired and oso sick tis past two daes,so many tings to do n yet seemed sooo rushed for time:( but i do c e tremendous effort in our team to do each role well n i do give thanks to God,may we keep on the correct vision and purpose...spirit is strong but body is......old la,so weak:/ dun like calling myself old but well,i'm le:s hmmm another dae beckons tmr and another effort is required so may God reallie give us e strength we need to perservere on,thanks all those who r involved in tis no matter wat role ya doing,its God tt brings us together to work tis project for the good of His works,jiayou!:) going zzzzzzz,nitenite...snorez...

wat i feeling...

2008-08-31T21:40:00.003+08:00

I'm sooo excited, nervous, scared...all sort of feelings washing over me,lolx...tis coming week will be a "do or die" mentality week, all the ideas, preparations etc will be set to task tis week, now suddenly quite scared...loads of wat ifs come swimming in my mind...:x hmmm i need to calm down, been too emo n tired out today, need to recharge n renew myself soon...lolx okok muz go rest go rest, tmr onwards a bizbizbizbizbiz week ahead!God grant us all e strength to go thru:D

A time for everything...

2008-08-30T10:56:00.003+08:00

"There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,a time to embrace and a time to
refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,a time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes3:1-8

Was reading these verses tis morn then got reminded of the purpose of our lives in tis world..been reading on e conflicts of many diff countries all ard the world; wars,disputes,deaths n sufferings by e innocents n soldiers alike,etc etc...all tis seems so cruel:X but the verses reminded me tt God intended all things for a purpose,n who m i to say He's good or cruel or unfair etc,i can onli do my part well in tis temporary world while i wait for the eternity...

On a more relaxed note, statistics have shown tt more than 50% of the students i had taught or m still teaching have broken down in tears b4:S lolx m i a bad teacher?a fierce and insensitive "old" guy or m i simply imcompetent??:( hmmm wanna apologise to all who had or r still suffering in my hands,mebe i should consider changing lines man,lolx:X A BIG SORRI TO ALL OF YA!Hope ya all can c its for ya own good...

P.S. I'm out of time to do my project!!argh i need MORE time!:'(

is there?

2008-08-29T09:28:00.002+08:00

"Is there, is there a place,
in your arms of love, strong enough?
would you carry us, carry us through?"

updates...

2008-08-28T12:05:00.002+08:00

If anione i noe is not in my link,a thousand apologies coz i juz sort of revive my blog recently so still figuring out how to find ppl etc,will take some time to find n link ya all:D Btw e next two months will reallie be berybery biz,sometimes i tink to myself is it i "mei shi zao shi zhuo" make myself so stressed up-_- but i noe wat i'm doing is not a coincidence,so pls God,lead me thru all tis kkz:) and to all my students,pls JIAYOU n remember,influence ya frens,not be influenced by them:)

"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water." Psalms63:1

helpless...

2008-08-27T23:40:00.002+08:00

helpless...in tis degraded society...helpless to do anithing,helpless to make a difference...m i reallie a historymaker 4 God,or juz going wif e flow of tis corrupted world??my heart aches,is in great pain for e loss of souls ard me,yet i cant do anting to stem e tide,on n on it goes till eventually God's judgement arrives...i'm utterly useless......

"Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea;
hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and
I am distraught at the voice of the enemy, at the
stares of the wicked; for they bring down suffering
upon me and revile me in their anger.
My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of
death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me." Psalm55:1-5

e emo me....

2008-08-26T09:28:00.003+08:00

i feel sooo weak n helpless,not physically but in other aspects:( wat i shouldn't do i do n wat i should do,more often than not i dun do:s now then i sort of understand more of wat apostle Paul said:"For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans7:15 mani ppl ard me facing difficulties,yet powerless to help them...sometimes i reallie wsh God can bring me back into His presence n leave tis sinful world behind-_- but i noe each of us has a purpose in tis world,juz tt it is too much to bear at times...my worldly being is taking over my senses at times,its unbearable,unbearable...i feel lonely in tis battle, i cant take it much much longer,n i dunno wat to do...life..wat is e real meaning of it??..

helloz:)

2008-08-23T01:09:00.002+08:00

hi ppl juz a short post:D i'm at my fren's hse doing recording for songs but now mental block so stuck-_-" aniwae wanna apologise to all my students who i tuitioned tis past daes :s been having mental block since coming out of reservist,so mebe couldn't teach well,will try to get back to normal soon!!:D

In the end everything will be good
If it's not good,it's not the end yet.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

too much to write....

2008-08-22T00:23:00.002+08:00

manimani tots dunno how to put to words,so quote tis lyrics from e song "Amazing Grace"

P.S. Its a wonderful wonderful and extremely touching song:D

"AMAZING GRACE, HOW SWEET THE SOUND
THAT SAVED A WRETCH LIKE ME!
I ONCE WAS LOST, BUT NOW AM FOUND
WAS BLIND, BUT NOW I SEE"

The story behind tis song was bery beautifully touched too,share wif ya all next time:)

FREEEEEEEZZZZ:D:D:D

2008-08-20T17:32:00.002+08:00

FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YES ppl i'm finally BACK from ICT!!!It was super duper tough and worse of all,was sooo sick till nearly fainted and dehydrate:( but aniway got home safely le,gee:D well,dun reallie wanna tok abt wat happened ah,lolx hmmm been tinking over tis past few weeks,i'll be going over to taiwan tis dec wif a view to staying there next yr ah,nothing's concrete yet but if tings go on smoothly,will be leaving here next yr..quite excited of coz coz can travel!n c e world(ok taiwan) n gain work exp overseas but at e same time a bit sad if gonna leave behind e ppl and stuff here:/ always been contradicting haven i,lolx:s aniwae will update when tings r more concrete:D oh n been working on a project(shhh) recently,actually started out differently but aft some finetuning tots came up wif something i noe tt can be done le,now juz hope by God's grace and e help of all e KIND ppl i haf found n will find,tt tis will be a meaningful n lasting success:D(ppl all ya efforts may God reward personally:D) haha on a lighter note,i'm trying to lose weight!!haha noe been harping on n on abt it since like few yrs ago(roll eyes),lolx:si need DETERMINATION n less TEMPTATION!!!hahahahha sleep wears away hunger!lolx:D hahaha tis so like a random post,haha n i dunno how to upload more PICS to my blog:( ani kind souls come to my aid kkz,thx!:D

P.S. i LUV delirious,they rox!:D

sme tots

2008-08-10T09:32:00.004+08:00

haha everyone a belated b-dae to our nation:D yest was spent so meningfully,went to rush to get all my stuff for upcoming field camp(:s) then met up wif my fren for late lunch then went for fellowship:D we had prayer session:) n actually was quite glad e xie's house dun haf a tv coz we can all pray n focus though was bery tired and haf a wonderful time of sharing over dinner wif bros and sis:D gotta say was quite sianz initially due to my reservist and e upcoming "S" field camp but then tot over a lot during e session..will try to view it positively ba..:) saw e news of war bwt russia and georgia n was quite sad,is it reallie e end of times,when war occurs bwt countries and diasters striking in many places..e innocent ppl killed just for e sake tt political figures can get "regions" back under their control..human lives seem so worthless in tis times,when self satisfaction is considered more imptance of than e well-being of others who is e same as us;God's creation. wat rite do we haf to destroy wat God created,but tts wat we r doing..:( we can onli pray and keep praying for God's mercy to keep us from His wrath,we dun deserve anyting at all...

When u pray,
its u e one in need.
Not God in need
2 wan u 2 tell Him:D

P.S. mission launchers aren't fun at all:/

dunno wat to put...

2008-08-06T18:46:00.003+08:00

Hahaha hello ppl!super loooong din post le:s nearly forgot how to type:p hmmm quite weird too long le dunno how to start......anyway i'm in reservist!!!its yucky n tough one tis time round*sobz*:(
anyway will try to update wheneva i can online,nearly forget how to log in juz now,lolx*roll eyes*:p
miz my civilian life man,ict HURRY ends!!!!well,everyone take loads carez ba,hope to c ya all soon:D

When u pray,
its u e 1 in need.
Not God in need
2 wan u 2 tell Him:D

P.S. I'll be done on e 20th so onli contact me aft tt kkz:D

The thing I dread the most...:(

2008-01-21T23:33:00.000+08:00

Hello ppl, noe super duper long din update le,1stly a hapi new yr to all! May tis yr marks a new yr to all of ya!:D Hmmm tis post shall be abt wat e title suggests so i'll skip all other topics to another post:p I going back army reservist tmr as some of ya noe, but there is smeting ya all might not noe, and tts i DREAD army LOTS!:( Its not the training etc, but rather e time spent there etc...hmmm stay in smemore,so cant book out one,lolx...been feeling down tis few daes coz of tis, noe its stupid but still, lolx-_-" haha enjoy and cherish ya days when ya can ppl, I realised its easi to take for granted our lifestyle, its onli when certain incidents forbids us to cont tt we treasure it lots... tts all,take loads carez ppl!cya all soon!:D

P.S. I'll do e survey another time kkz Qiuru, biz packing now,hahahaha:p

some tots...

2007-12-28T00:04:00.000+08:00

Hi ppl,noe quite some time din post le,hols been a flash,came n passed sooo fast tt all events r like a blur..hmmm been biz and tired thruout the whole hols due to many events etc,now tt all have ended,can finally slow down the pace a bit and reflect...tings hasn't been good for some reasons,n there's a great need to address them,its juz tt dun feel animore strength to try again-_-" Is tt wat it means to stay at one's "comfort zone"?Its not juz in non-christian society,but even in churches etc ppl r staying in their "comfort zone",its saddening..But well,shall not onli focus on e negative events,during e whole course of hols,been bery grateful coz thru god's works,His boundless and endless grace,i can say tt god uses everyone,esp an unworthy one such as me to accomplish His works:D My heart,though weak,is still filled wif thanksgiving and gratefulness:D E new yr is arriving sooo soon,wat i plan and how i plan to live my life for e coming yr,may god be always wif me and lead me thru e deep valleys and e high mountains,giving is my life,and accomplishing His works is my mission!

..

2007-12-16T00:54:00.000+08:00

hihi,been a biz week,dun reallie feel like typing wat happened thruout,e onli ting tts glad is e conversion of faith i c in ppl,hmmm not reallie in a good mood now,shall post another time.

I'm back!though nv been away,haha:D

2007-11-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

Hey hey! Hahaha past few days been sooo tired and slack and busy?lolx-_-" Hmmm had great fun on friday playing though ended up with severe pains then saturday was sooo boring at home, unwell so didn't go sentosa, sorry people!-_- Yesterday was super super super TIRING! Hahaha Realised I'm indeed old in some ways, kept forgetting e script and some lyrics, lolx-_-" Haha pool was fun(though below par) and market food is the best!!!!! Alright not the best but one of my favourites! Hahahaha then went home and was like falling asleep while watching tv-_- I slept at 10plus, can you imagine, 10plus! Omg I'm becoming OLD!!!:( Hahaha shall not think about that anymore, now whole body still aching-_-" struggling whether to go for tonight's sermon...:s

misc post:D

2007-11-16T11:39:00.000+08:00

Hahaha two days of slacking and stone-ing at home, finally going out today again, hahaha:p Been such a good boy these few days, even if I said so myself, ha:D Not much motivation to do the things I should man,damn-_-" HAha gotta try bery bery hard to force some discipline in me, I need DISCIPLINE!!! Later going see my little rascals(opps, little angels-_-) again, haha they finally holidays! Lolx but some like quite sad, lolx HAha nevermind people, we'll have much fun and learning this coming December kkz:D Oh and I still waiting for my buffet! I wanna eat eat eat till i drop:p:p And i may be going church camp!lolx Oh and i bought a NEW mp3, hahaha yes a NEW one!the old one(2months old-_-") met with some mishap so can't use le, I'll miss ya lots mp3!!! Hahaha but i love my NEW one too, super cool, hahaha:D Yay soccer later, now go slack some more first, bb!:D

post

2007-11-13T11:56:00.000+08:00

Wah so fast so many days didn't post le-_- These few days can say many many things happened and end up result in many consequences:( I suddenly feel bery alone, like my mask is falling off and i'm more and more exposed, exposed to others in ways I don't ever wanna others to even know, but I can't help it, I can't control it, I'm just like a strong trunk that's rotting inside badly, looks good on the outside but it's so weak and fragile it can't stand a blow... I need to stand firm, I really need, I need to stop relying on others for strength, I need to WAKE UP!!!!!.....Am I destined to be like that forever? I don't know, i really don't, but I don't feel anymore strength, the trunk's slowly dying, slowly but surely rotting and fading away till one day its presence will be felt no more and other trees will just take over and it will be forgotten forever and ever...

lamer at work - testtest:D

2007-11-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

Hahaha i'm back! Just one day never post only, lolx:p Ok i know i AM lame and old but i'm not an UNCLE kkZ!-_-'' Haha these past 2 days been going out and spending like nobody's business:x Lolx i'm broke again people!hahaha hmmm super tired man but guess when it's going out to have fun etc then won't miss it one:p Hahaha bery tired now so also don't know what i posting,lolx:s Hahaha oh and i owe someone a special message so here you go - "SPECIAL MESSAGE" Aren't i sooo sweet:D:D:D Haha very lame and tired le ah, sorry for those who read this post, it's senseless and crappy,haha:D But i'm one and i love being one!hehehe ok going sleep before turn this into a lamer site, nitez!:D

blogging again....

2007-11-07T10:17:00.000+08:00

Haha just sent kr to bus stop and back, ha great result yest rite, so i got my treat! Hahahahahha:p
Yesterday was quite fun, went centre to chat(fun?) then went NYGH(sorry if wrong spelling cause don't know what's the initial:x) to watch some drama performance(fun?), lolx was LAME and was clueless over the story lines -_-'' Haha but i love the last story! Being the emo me, i can understand fully the pain and hurt felt by the role of the dad...Okok maybe it's just a common story but how many times in our lives have we sacrifice and even protect our loved ones only to get misunderstood and hated instead?:( It's difficult being a person who wants to be involved in other's lives sometimes, there are times when the longings for someone to be there for you instead is so strong yet it's always overlooked; Cause of age?maturity?different lifestyles?upbringings?
It's easy to be liked by people or easy to like people? It's easy to listen to people sharing or easy to share with people listening? Wow so emo again like the "monster" in the drama yesterday-_-" Ha time to stop typing, thanks people for all your accompanying though i'm quite irritating and short and old(WHATEVER):p

P.S. oh and supper and ice-cream was nice:D Thanks for your treat!haha:p Next time treat buffet kkz, hahaha:p

what a grace....:D

2007-11-06T15:08:00.000+08:00

Hey just wanna share some thoughts; Whenever i'm down and out and things seemed so wrong and hopeless, God's grace ALWAYS come in different ways, i experienced it countless times and i really wanna say THANK YOU GOD! I know i'm a imperfect human but yet through my imperfection U showed your grace and mercy to me,THANKS:) For those who aren't believers of God, you may not understand what am i talking about but its ok, do share my joy in God too, take carez everyone!:D

EMO equals ME

2007-11-06T00:55:00.000+08:00

Y must all these things fall on me??? Sigh just when i thought i have turned the corner and looking up, the blows just kept coming and coming and i can sense myself breaking and breaking and breaking till i'm no longer a piece, i'm crumbling and falling apart so badly:( I can't summon any more strength to face things again, i don't know how long i can last..these few days a combination of people and events kept me going on but how long, how long more God?? I really don't know what to do, i get depressed easily instead of spurred on and i'm getting more depressed and emo by the day, well done siyang!:s Tomorrow is D-DAY for me, i cant bear to think anymore, whatever that happens tomorrow i tell myself to accept and don't think or regret and blame anyone or God! Please gimme courage and strength, i feel so down and weak now..

just my 2nd post...

2007-11-04T23:21:00.000+08:00

Haha after some guidance from spastic ru,finally add a c-box and also got links le, haha thanks,will repay the favour on tues:D Oh today damn tiring man, while singing was like so vexed emotions within and tried so hard to fight back the flowing tears,lolx looked so ugly-_-'' Haha spending time with both cg people and youths are tiring but fun!gee Pool was fun but owning:p (haha jkjk:D) Hmmm got some new insights to my jobs today,share more next time,ok la gotta go zzzz le or else tomorrow can't wake up for work then die:s nitez:D

moshi:)

2007-11-04T05:38:00.000+08:00

Hahaha actually got blog last time but well...nvm anyway consider this my 1st blog! At a time like tis when everyone normal is sleeping-_-'' Hmmm can't get to sleep for reasons unknown even to myself, been feeling weird for the past few weeks esp, am i going mad? I hate feeling this way, it so defeats my rational being completely and makes me upset and happy and confused etc all at the same time:( Okay don't spoil my 1st blog on depression,ha Shall try to get some rest for banchang later or else sing off tunes again,lol:s